I'm Back, Bitches! And New Years KICKED ASS!

After nearly a year recess, I've decided to begin blogging again.  My hope, or intention, however you want to look at it, is that by blogging again, I will start enjoying more of the quirky nuances that make my life in Berlin so interesting.  That being said, the last 9 months or so since my last entry have been a total snore.  Okay that's not entirely true, but I just was feeling a little down trodden.  Additionally, I am hyper aware that the words I type to the world through my blog are most frequently read by the snarky washingtonians bob and doug and therefore I constantly picture them rolling there eyes as they read quietly in their heads.

Today was day 2 at my new job.  Really it was more like rehersal two, because my new job is to be the smiling, cheerful "face of America"  Literally...  I was hand selected out of thousands, actually millions of other American expatriates living in Berlin to go around to high schools across Germany to give a 1 hour presentation on what it's like growing up in the United States.  I talk about stereotypes, our habit of overindulgence, overeating, and conversely of our obsession with self-image, Abercrombie, Lady Gaga, and pornography.  It's truly a riveting presentation.  Unfortunately, I have had the opportunity to try it on actual high-schoolers yet, just the staff of the company I will be working for...but I'm quite confident.  The objective of the presentation is to spark interest in high-schoolers so that they will sell their souls to Americans as au Pairs.  The funny thing is, so often they get placed in po-dunk towns in the Mid-West of South and I can't help but the short-lived, but brilliant show.  The Simple Life starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.  Anyway, apparently Germans get all up and giddy about the idea of living in the US for a year...I just hate to break it to them that they have to convert to uberconservatism which includes no alcohol (Germans can drink at 16), no nudity, and as far as I'm concerned no fun...but I digress.  I'm sure it' s a wonderful cultural experience.

Well it's a New Year and i must say I rang mine in with a bang.  Good ole Roberto Munoz and his best friend Howie came to Berlin for New Year's and we had a grand ole time.  Just blogging again is sort of overwhelming but I do have some video footage of World War 3 that literally takes place on the streets of Berlin on New Year's Eve.  I'm really not kidding either..  It's 5 hours of crazy German shooting HUGE bottle rockets at their neighbor across the streets house.  This year apparently there 2100 calls to the fire department.  In a way it was spectacular, partly because I love fireworks, and partly because I had drunk so much champagne, but the REAL event was New Years Day.  I'm not sure if I've written much about the German party culture (mainly because my mom used to read this) but it's off the wall INSANE!  New Year's Day I awoke our Party around 10am (after 3 hours of sleep) so that we could be AT Berghain (the world's greatest club, pictured below) by noon.  Well I was successful....

BUT it's important to note that just getting to the line is only a small part of the battle.  Because Germans are just TOO weird to have time to be cool, therefore making "normal people" at a huge disadvantage of getting into their most sought after clubs.  Please see video below...
CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO
There were 4 of us, all guys waiting in queue (which at noon was about 30 minutes, yes at noon) anxiously awaiting our encounter with the door man...

Fast Forward 30 minutes and after nearly having a panic attack and watching person after person, group after group of quirky, weird people being rejected, we two are rejected...  WAH WAH...but that's not the end of the story, because I am not about to NOT get in anywhere when I have guests counting on me.  So after some smooth talking to another guy, we are allowed entry.  15 hours spread over 3 floors, countless beers and Jager shots, and new friend's from Spain, Italy, and Finland we decide we've had enough dancing for one day and call it New Year's Day for the history books.  For more gory details you can contact me offline.  However a few choice quotes from the day/evening/night!  "MAIN FLOOR!  WE'RE DANCING ON THE MAIN FLOOR!  BOX, GET ON THE BOX!"  "WE'RE DANCING IN A SEX CLUB!!!(bottom floor)"  "Let's go fuck with Howie and then run away."

NOTE:  Because it would take away from the cool factor, pictures are strictly prohibited.  Mirrors are also no where to be found in the entire club. 

Well so that's it for now.  Friendly encouragement is likely to keep me blogging so please proceed. Also, I really can't be bothered with updating every person I talk to on the same things over and over again.  This is a FAR better medium to mass distribute my awesomeness to all you back home.

How much do you miss me?

xoxo
Brian